Would you trade child custody for no jailtime?

No? Well, she did.

Within a few days of our family trauma, she and her husband made a private appointment with our new child psychologist to try and negotiate.

She told the therapist that she was okay with giving up custody of her daughter and said she trusted she would return to her when she was older. (that was a euphemism for she would later poison her against us, but that comes later) They told the therapist that we would no longer have to press charges if they gave up custody.

She had sold her husband on her story that we attacked her to stage domestic violence in order to steal her daughter from her. She has continued this narrative to her children and all mutual friends that we had. Some we no longer have, it’s quite ridiculous. But she was convcited, so despite physical evidence of trauma on my body and years of doctor bills she ultimately had to pay for somehow there are still people that believe this.

What they didn’t realize is that we did not have the option to press charges. It was without question she was outside of the law in a criminal way and that is way the city prosecuted her and they won. They don’t take cases they can’t win, they don’t have enough resources. This poor guy was so misled and she cost him so much money although I know they financially screwed over their lawyers and didn’t pay them. Took the state four years to chase down $88.10 from her for this. She is not honest or nice.

I could talk forever about secondary trauma being worse than the original trauma. How losing friends hurt more and still hurts. The emotional pain with having your relationship with your step kids destroyed. The pain of having your entire family changed forever. The stress of having to go to court to defend yourself against someone who tried to kill you was unbearable and compounded our trauma significantly. It’s either mental illness or pure evil.

Here are my journals….

Day of attack spent the whole day reeling in the aftermath. Declined medical attention at the scene so that our girls would not be traumatized. I went to the ER once the girls were sleeping. Went to the ER myself could not have pain medication because I was driving, definitely felt unsafe driving. Still, we had no one to leave the girls with, and we could not take them with us because they would be further exposed to what happened, and I needed them to believe that I am going to be okay.

4/13/15 Monday
We were down at the courthouse all day, getting the civil restraining order. All-day my throat was getting thick and sticky, feeling having issues swallowing. I remember reading that if the symptoms start getting worse to immediately go back to the ER, they were getting worse and I was getting worried. I didn’t want to be a baby about it, but it hurt so bad I eventually just got an ice pack and put it on my neck and told my husband that we needed to find someone to watch the girls and go to the hospital. My bestie did not answer so we called my stepson. He reluctantly came over. The staff at the Hospital were completely terrible. I am clearly not okay when I walk up, one would think that a person working behind the desk at a hospital would have the knowledge to what a panick attack would look like and ask something like so do you think you want to see a doctor? Why the fuck would we go to the emergency room?

4/14/15 Tuesday
Today Ex Wife and her husband went to Dr. Shannon and said that she wants to give up 100% custody to us if we drop the charges and that she understands that she needs to let it go and that her daughter will come back to me when she is an adult. We can’t drop the charges by the way, we are not presing charges the City of San Diego is with or without our consent. My husband reached out to my step daughter’s best friend’s Mom Sophia and tried scheduling play dates. Trying to keep things as normal as possible for the kids.

4/15/15 Wednesday
I am sure we were looking for flights or trying to figure out what we should be doing for Hawaii. We were already scheduled to go to Hawaii with my sister, her husband, and my parents.

4/16/15 Thursday
We went to Dr. Shannon today.

On Apr 15, 2015, at 3:58 PM, My Energy Coach wrote:
You are confirmed with Love.
I had reached out to her to get a session right away, I needed her.

From: Amy
Sent: Thursday, April 16, 2015 1:41 AM
To: Energy Coach
Subject: Re: confirmed

It brought me so much peace I could see hands around my second chakra soothing me, and I fell asleep no anger, no resentment just acceptance and peace and knowingness that I am still whole and complete and stronger than before. Thank you Lydia. I love you.

Husband’s New Wife

From: Amy
Sent: Friday, April 17, 2015 9:20 AM
To: Energy Coach
Subject: Re: confirmed

Oh wow Lydia it’s been such a week. I have been in the ER twice and my chiropractor from the injuries of the kid’s Mom’s attack. My step daughter has been in therapy twice, and one time my daughter and I were with her. It’s been so unreal, and I’ve been dealing with recovering from all this. I have in my notes we are on for the 24th for some reason at 11:30 my time? I’m so confused. I am not sure now what I told you but she tried to kill me without a doubt.

I feel desperate that we need to be together today but we have been advised to retain an attorney so we are meeting with them at 9am today, then we have to be at my step daughter’s school for an emergency IEP meeting. So depending on what time we have I may not be at home. I am sorry to have gotten things mixed up and I hope you can excuse under these circumstances.

Things are very serious and there is a great possibility my step daughter’s mom will go to jail. She strangled me. She wanted me to stop talking forever. I can’t take what happened any other way.

Like the big wave that I conquered, I feel untethered now.

Help me understand today.

Hi Amy:

In view of the circumstances, I understand. We let go of today. Please be mindful.

I’m not sure where you got the 24th at 1:30 Central from, but let’s now make that firm and confirmed. The space is open and yours.

I have no point of reference for the circumstances you describe, so I continue to hold you in a deep space of Love.

What I do know is that it is of utmost importance to do a Karmic Activation session. Only part of all this is yours. You may have taken on other people’s stuff. It needs to be released, or it will hold you back in a significant way.

Please confirm 24th at 1:30 Central. We shall see closer to the time what feels appropriate.

If you can make it earlier in the week, I will try to accommodate it.


Energy Coach

#childcustody #familycourt #domesticviolence #strangulation #jailtime #TBI #PTSD #family #friends #trauma #strangulation #mentalhealth #mentaillness #coparenting #stepmom #mom #daughter


    1. Strangled in La Jolla

      Thank you,yes, those are the marks from that day. Yes while I don’t believe she set out that day to try and kill me. That’s what she almost did. Super said. Her daughter and my 4 year were in the house. Happened in front of my husband who could barely stop the rage. She was possessed. There is no other way to describe it.


      1. MamaBear

        That is absolutely insane! I am so sorry that you had to go through that! I’m disheartened to see the police report but happy to see that she’s no longer in possession of the children and is kept away from you! What a horror story!


      2. Strangled in La Jolla

        Except three years in she lured her daughter to her house for freedom and we lost her for those years. Oddly we are finally mending and healing just in the last few months. Amazing how domestic violence destroys families and how long it takes if ever to reunite with kids who get caught up in it. I’m just happy my daughter gets her sister back now. We are just looking forward. But step parents are not protected under domestic violence laws and strangulation is only a felony in CA under DV Laws. I won’t stop trying to raise awareness to the heinous act of strangulation and protecting all household members from DV! Won’t stop. It’s not right.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. MamaBear

        Wow! It’s hard to look forward, but necessary. You’re so strong for doing so! Continue to raise awareness! That’s what my page is for as well!


      4. Strangled in La Jolla

        MamaBear…you guys are doing what I thought I was doing or that I wanted. That’s amazing. We are literally so much stronger together especially on a StepMom / Biomom dynamic it’s such a beautiful way to be an example to your kids! Well done!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

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