I Would Like to Discuss OUR Co-Parenting Issues!!

When I read through this and remember the stupidness she put us through regarding the “issues” which were not even freaking issues my eyes start to roll back in my head. All of it was just unnecessary. The issue was hers all along. There were no co-parenting issues there was a parent competition and she was the only one playing.

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 18:58:00 -0700
From:Husband
Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season
To:Husband’s Ex-Wife
CC: Husband’s New Wife; Ex-Wife New Husband

Considering I missed the entire holiday season because I was out of the country working for 22 days in December. I’d like to stick to the schedule and have them christmas eve.

What are the issues you like to talk about?

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 10:23:00 -0700
From: Husband’s New Wife
Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season
To: Husband

you didnt miss christmass eve and christmass day becouse my kindness and you are not willing to let them be with me christmass eve ??? i will explain when we meet ..if you guys have time this weekend you can come over…to discuss it…Husband’s Ex- Wife

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 10:49:00 -0700
From:Husband
Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife
CC:Husband’s New Wife ; Ex-Wife New Husband

I’d like to know what we’re discussing before we met.

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 18:58:00 -0700
From:Husband’s Ex-Wife
Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season
To:Husband

i would like to discuss are co parenting issues

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 18:58:00 -0700
From: Husband
Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife
CC: Husband’s New Wife; Ex-Wife new husband

Can you be more specific please.

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 18:58:00 -0700
From: Husband’s Ex-Wife
Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season
To: Husband

I will explain what the issues are when we meet maybe next weekend.

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 18:58:00 -0700
From: surf1407@yahoo.com
Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife
CC: Husband’s New Wife; Ex-Wife New Husband

WHAT ISSUES??

I’d like to be prepared when I meet with you. If you want to get together then tell me the issues. I refuse to meet under a cloud of mystery. That would be a potentially explosive situation.

I’ll be waiting for your list of issues. Until them I don’t want to commit to meeting with you. I don’t have time to argue. I also think most of this can be done through email correspondence.

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 6:44:00 -0700
From: Husband
Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife
CC: Husband’s New Wife; Ex-Wife New Husband

I never heard back from you?

From: A random Mom
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife
Sent: Sat, September 18, 2010 12:02:27 PM
Subject: Dyslexia

Hi,
I am sorry for eves dropping on you conversation the other night. I just caught the word dyslexia, and my daughter was her reading buddy all last year she kept telling me she thought she was dyslexic like her. It is obviously not my place to talk to you about it, that must come from the teacher.

I have been down the path you are about to go down so if you need any help please let me know. We do have a group at the school for parents of children with learning disabilities. We usually meet on Thursday night and once we get back to our school routine we will be having a meeting, probably early October. I will let you know when.

We are hoping have a Resource Teacher very soon at the School to work with our children with Learning Disabilities and a center equipped with computers and different learning devices to help these children. The buy in to the teacher and the center will be $2000 per year, private tutoring costs about $70/hr at an outside source like the Family and Learning Center in La Jolla. Your first step is to get an IEP for her, this is an Individualized education plan, you get this by writing to your local elementary school and requesting testing for a learning disability. They will try to say no because she is at a private school, you must insist as it is the law.

I cannot send to her Dad as I do not have his email address, but if I can help either of you please let me know.

Have a good weekend, see you soon.

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 6:44:00 -0700
From:Husband
Subject: re:dyslexia
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife
CC: Husband’s New Wife; Ex-Wife New Husband

That was a nice letter, Thank her for the info.

Husband’s Ex-Wife,
As I said before it’s a good idea for you to speak to Mrs. Lowell as I did before requesting an IEP test. There is a process and Mrs. Lowell has assured me that when the time comes to do an IEP testing she will notify us.

Husband

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife
To: Husband’s New Wife>; Husband
Sent: Tue, September 21, 2010 12:02:27 PM
Subject: kids

can i ask you please stop harassing us with your texts….

I am asking to meet discuss 3 issues

Some of our daughter’s comments she said here that are coming from you that she shouldnt be exposed to..i am her mom and it only confuse her and hurt at the end .. so even with our differences you should keep it to yourself.

After being very open and flexible for the last years …about any changes you asked me to do to help when you worked or switching days or holiday i am very disappointed that after i tell you because your family is visiting you can keep them all thank giving week.. you say no to my request for chrismass eve….it needs to work both ways. using the divorce papers as a excuse is only using it to your advantage …i didnt have them last year also when I was suppose too.. if we come to a conclusion we cant work together and make sure its faire for both…we will need to follow those papers make change stop them with the new situation …and than no changes will be allowed….

third thing i wanted to discuss…i want to start her in a dance class, group… i already spoke to your new wife about it…i think doing something she is good at will make her feel good about herself when she is having more difficulices learning at school..after our mutual female friends recommendations there is one in old town..before i sign her in i want to make sure you will commit to share cost it s 10$ the lesson and that you are willing to drive her when she is at your house…i can go to get more info and let you know…its probably once a week

I wanted to meet because writing in english for me takes time…
Husband’s Ex-Wife

Special note here that during the original custody share agreement Husband’s Ex-Wife said Thanksgiving was an “American Holiday” and gave it up. There was also nothing written about the week of Thanksgiving and which parent had the children in even/odd years. So giving it up is a bit of delusional as she never wanted Thanksgivng.

From: Husband
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife
Cc: Husband’s New Wife ; Ex-Wife New Husband
Sent: Tue, September 21, 2010 3:30:00 PM
Subject: Co-Parenting Issues

Ex-Wife,

I apologize if you and your new husband are feeling “harassed” by my texts looking for more information and I can recognize that you might need a different form of communication from me that feels more comfortable. Using the word harass is inappropriate and unnecessary. To help clear this up I would like to request that when you communicate something serious like “co-parenting” issues that you address this immediately or wait to communicate until you get your thoughts in order. My intentions were only to put priority on your wanting to discuss some issues not to disturb or upset.

I would also like to ask that if reference is being made about “comments” she is saying (that you think are coming directly from me) that she shouldn’t be exposed to, that you be more specific like I have been. For example, most recently her saying that you bought her a horse in Julian or her saying that you said that she can go to a public school next year. Honestly, when we asked her where she got this information and she said you, we told her we talked to her Momma and that she should watch herself in telling stories. This led to her to crying and saying she wasn’t lying and that you really said this.

In hindsight, perhaps there is room for interpretation and the more compassionate approach would be to understand that she has an imagination and interpretation coming from an 8 year old perspective. Essentially, exactly what your new husband said at the parent meeting at Stella Maris about the horse story when we brought it up. If you feel that there are real issues with her comments please address them specifically that way if something is really being said that she shouldn’t be exposed to that it can be corrected. Again, my apologies if something has come across as offensive to you.

Regarding, Thanksgiving this year. The week of Thanksgiving would naturally fall on the week that she would be with us anyways without any adjustments or concessions on your part so you’re not giving anything actually. Furthermore, it’s an “American” Holiday it’s my understanding that you really don’t care of it anyways so I feel it’s a mute point and should have nothing to do with Christmas plans. Please let me know if things have changed on your end regarding this. As far as being open and flexible, which is very appreciated, it is also not one sided as you are portraying. For example, regardless of whether it’s my week or not the kids have spent every St. Nicholas with you because I know this is important to you.

I feel it is an unfortunate assumption that the divorce papers are viewed as an excuse and used as manipulation. The reality of it is that last year during the Holiday season the kids were with you most of the time regardless if it was because I was working. The time that you are referring to not having them was after dinner on Christmas Eve. Normally Christmas Eve and Christmas Day is always shared so we are specifically talking of one over night stay into Christmas Day in exchange for me not seeing them for a month straight. With all due respect, I feel that little was lost on your end last year and the circumstances are being blown out of proportion. I feel, as does the system that is used to support families in our circumstances, that following the agenda originally set albeit “divorce papers” would alleviate conflict not create it as it has done. To be clear then going into next year Thanksgiving stands as it’s always has with me each year unless something has changed on your end that we need to address, Christmas Eve (odd year) with be you and Christmas Day will be me. If something unusual comes up then we can deal with it as it comes like we always have.

I am completely in favor of her doing dance. However, it can’t be during the week while she is with me because she needs to focus on school and it will be required that she do special work to help wit her dyslexia once she is officially diagnosed and we can seek therapy. I cannot enforce you do the same on your end, so if you feel the right thing is dance during the week then you will do what you feel is right. Weekends are open though and we’d be happy to drive her when it falls on our weekend. As for helping to pay, considering that we have not asked to share in any of big brothers expenses with him being at my house 100% of the time this year for school, I feel it’s an slightly unreasonable request. If weekends don’t work well due to a series of classes or something let me know and we can reevaluate. But I just want to stress that there isn’t a lot of time right now with out extra work for her during the week adding anything more after school would only make things harder for her just to stay up to speed in class.

Last, we wanted to let you know that my new wife will be off work most of October through mid January with the new baby. If there is any help you need during this time we may be able to help out more if needed.

Hopefully, this clears up some issues.

Husband

(no response)

From: stellamarisacademy.org
Date: Oct 3, 2010 6:44 PM
Subject: SST Meeting
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife;

HI All,
It seems we should reschedule our meeting for another day!
Would Thursday, October 14th work for you? We can meet at 7:15 in the 3rd Grade classroom.
Let me know if this is convenient for everyone!
Thanks,
Stella Maris

From: Husband
To: Husband’s Ex Wife
CC: Husband’s New Wife>,Ex-Wife New Huband
Sent: Tuesday, October 5, 2010 7:18 PM
Subject: Homework this week….

Homework
Monday:
Math:Lesson 1-18

Tuesday:
Math: Lesson 1-19
Science:Worksheet

Wednesday:
Math:Lesson 1-20
Grammar:Worksheet

Thursday:
Math: Lesson 1-121
Spelling:Quiz Friday
Religion:Ch.3 Quiz Friday

Spelling Words:
can
could
kind
like
book
sick
second
woke
took
back
pack
kick
bacon
attic
stuck

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife
To: Husband
Sent: Tuesday, October 5, 2010 7:18 PM
Subject: Homework this week….

thank you ,i already know her homework for the week but didn’t have her spelling words..

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