I would like to meet again to discuss some issues

She was so mad and I never saw it. I see it today.

I see the switch. It was merely about her son wanting to live at one house, that meeting. That was the meeting we called to discuss that. Now she wants to one up us, have a meeting to discuss ‘issues’ that she can’t seem to email and than says it’s because she can’t write in English. I see it so differently today than I did then. Everything was a little bit twisted from reality. What I thought were small things she had big reactions too.

From:Husband’s Ex-Wife

To: Husband’s New Wife; Husband

Sent: Mon, September 13, 2010 6:27:16 PM

Subject: little sister

I got her jot lunch for the month and pitza for the whole school year… hot lunch tuesday, thursday and next monday.. also the first pitza day is wednesday.. I talked to the principal this morning about the situation with the boy siting next to her…she toldme she would go in the class and observe. Anyway she is now aware of the problem with him bothering her…she probably will talk to the teatcher about it. hopefully they will move her soon.  

Dr walls got back to me today with her urine lab work and everything is clear..she doesnt nee the anthibiotique anymore ….last and not least she needs other shoes at your house… mr guay told her the other ones are not good…she is wearing the white running shoes today, that i found at payless for 15 dollars also they have mass shoes. you should have double at your house it would be easier…thanks Husband’s Ex-Wife

Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2010 13:01:00 -0700

From: Husband

Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season

To:Husband’s Ex-Wife

CC: Husband’s New Wife; Ex-Wife’s new husband

Thank you for heads up on lunches for the year. We have the Stella Maris Calendar uploaded onto a shared google calendar so we’ll be aware (won’t need weekly reminders) of when she will need to bring a lunch. We also have dollar denim days, mass days and school events. With this in mind, there is a Back to School night mandatory parent meeting this Thursday 9/17 from 7-8pm. Will you be attending? We will be just wanted to make sure you were aware. 

We also spoke to Mrs. Lowell this morning, and based on her observation, although the boy can be a distraction he was not purposely bothering her, and in efforts to support Mr. Gualin who placed the kids in alphabetical order for the year, for now, it will be left alone per Mrs. Lowell. Mrs. Lowell mentioned that you told her he pinched her; she did not tell us, so we were not aware. I guess we’ll have to keep an eye on it ourselves as well. 

About her shoes, she has a new pair at our house now that will work so we’ll make sure that she wears the white gym shoes she came with this week next Monday back to your house. FYI they are too small, and she said they hurt her toes. Also, we got her a new personalized backpack with her initials that she helped pick out. She is very excited to get it this week. 

Hearing from Dr. Walls that everything is “okay” isn’t good enough, and we will need to follow up. She has been on antibiotics about six times this year. There are several reasons why this cannot be left at this conclusion “okay”: A) being on antibiotics this often as a young child will be determined to her digestive health later in life B) getting reoccurring UTI symptoms and vaginitis means that something is wrong and leaving it undetermined what it is if it isn’t UTI’s can affect her health later in life. We will follow up with Dr. Walls and figure out the next path to explore so this can stop happenin. As her parents, it is our responsibility to advocate for her health, and clearly, something isn’t right if she continues to struggle. 

But what we can do in the meantime, which might actually eliminate the issue all together is to make sure that we are very consistent teaching better personal hygiene routines, how she is wiping herself after using the bathroom. Front to back needs to be reminded often and observed and follow up on this year. Cleaning her bum better, we notice her underwear is pretty soiled, so she can do a better job. Washing her hands and more often. This we know happens often and we need to help her understand what happens. Last, taking baths daily with no soap and maybe some baking soda every now and again. 

We also want to touch base on Holiday’s this year. There will be family visiting and a new baby over at our house so we want to be able to plan things early. My parents will be coming for Thanksgiving this year so we’ll want the kids that whole week. Please let us know your plans. Also, please remind me what the schedule for Christmas is this year?

Last, can you explain what she is talking about when she says she got a horse? She said she was given a horse from a lady who lives in Julian. Just want to make sure we are managing her expectations properly, so she is not disappointed. 

Husband

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To:Husband

Cc: Husband’s New Wife; Ex-Wife new husband

Sent: Wed, September 15, 2010 6:50:34 PM

Subject: RE: health, school and upcoming holiday season

yes, I will be attending the back to school night.

she didn’t have a ute like we suspected after your home test.. the result came negative. I totally agree anthibiotique use should be avoided and I’m open to try an alternative way to treat this problem if it occurs again…prevention will be reinforce here as well, wiping front to back, no soap, cleaning hand well etc we’ve been reminding her all the times !!! .. also i the summer the sand and humidity after swimming and not to dry her self well there can be a cause of outside irritation.. i m worried that she has sensitivity to this problem…also we need to avoid she wears tight pants. About thanksgiving week i understand you would like the kids there with your parents coming..im very happy she will get to see them this time..its been so long….they can be with you thanksgiving but i would like to have them for Christmas …last year after you didn’t see them for long i told you you could come and get them on chrismass eve.  

last subject..the horse ..she never told us this story here… Husband’s ex wife

Date: Thu, 16 Sep 2010 17:33:49 -0700

From: Husband

Subject: Re: health, school and upcoming holiday season

To: Husband’s Ex Wife

CC: Husbadn’s New Wife; Ex-Wife new husband

Sounds like we are on the same page regarding UTI or lack of…we will just have to stay on top of her about it. Agreed that summertime and damp bathing suits don’t help we noticed this too and urged her to change often but great point.  She may have a tendency to be irritated and/or sensitivity so we’ll just need to monitor her more closely and hope the best. 

Thank you for understanding about Thanksgiving, hopefully the plan comes through because it would great for her to spend time with her grandparents. Regarding Christmas, we’re happy to share Christmas with you. We would like the eve before then so that some of the holiday gets spent with the new baby as well.  We can bring them first thing in the morning of Christmas if that works.  Let me know.  

Regarding the horse, we’ll ask more questions but she says you got it for her. 

Husband

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To:Husband; Husband’s New Wife

Sent: Fri, September 17, 2010 1:15:45 PM

Subject: RE: health, school and upcoming holiday season

About Christmas i would have them christmas eve and you can pick them up for christmass day…i dont know if you remember in beligum we celebrate more on chrismass eve than on chrismass day…thanks…i dont have them on thanks giving so i hope undersand…Husband’s Ex-Wife

Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2010 18:58:00 -0700

From:Husband

Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

CC:Husband’s New Wife; Ex-Wife New Husband

I feel the best way to handle this with the least amount of friction is to follow the odd/even year Holiday share time schedule like we’ve done in the past. That way there are clearly outlined expectations. 

  • Thanksgiving is always with me anyways so that doesn’t really come into play but thanks for being open to it anyways
  • Christmas Eve is with you odd years and me in even years
  • Christmas Day is with you on even years and me in odd years

So for this year that would mean that the kids will be with us on Christmas Eve and you on Christmas Day, next year it will be reversed. 

I did get your text, thank you. I spoke with Mrs. Lowell this morning regarding her, and we can go through the public school system for the dyslexia test which it’s been explained is a necessary step. Prior to this she needs to be observed by her teacher and provide documentation of need of testing. Then Mrs. Lowell will contact us with the information for the public school testing when it’s time for her to be tested. Mrs. Lowell explained that it is free through the public school system and will be helping us get through the process. It will not be necessary for her to transfer to a public school and it’s advised that she stay at SMA in order to get more individualized support rather than get lost in the public system. 

She mentioned that her Momma said that she can go to public school next year. I feel that undermines me as a father. In the future I would like to request that any major decision like this be discussed between you and I first before discussing with her. All this does is confuse her and instill instability.  

Husband

Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 18:58:00 -0700

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

Subject: health, school and upcoming holiday season

To: Husband

CC: Husband’s New Wife; ex-wife new husband

Ii was always flexable to change or share my time with you due to work or any other demand in the past ….last year it was my turn for christmas eve and i kindly said after your new wife expressing in a email you really missed the kids that you could pick them up…i agree that the best way would be to allow the divorce papers to minimize confusion but we never did…you are using this to you advantage this year… i would like to meet again to discuss some issues. let me know maybe next weekend?? about her saying that…when she tells me she wants to go to public school i said yes is wrong. I never said yes…i always tell her, we will see and discuss this with papa…but tells maris is a great school…i never said yes…so i dont undermine you. i I’m asking you to be flexable and let me have them on christmass eve…i requested you should always have thanksgiving becouse its a american holiday…hope you understand…than you for the info of … we will follow up…husband’s ex-wife