I was nice, she called me Evil

We were trying to co-parent…things went south starting with her son wanting to live at our house it created this force inside her to win her kids over no matter what. I can see it now I didn’t then.

From: Husband

To:Husband’s Ex-Wife; Husband’s New Wife

Sent: Mon, June 21, 2010 9:15:09 AM

Subject: Re: the kids

3pm

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To: Husband; Husband’s New Wife

Sent: Monday, June 21, 2010 9:59 AM

Subject: the kids

thas fine.. you should respect my jugment i would never put her somewhere not appropriate for her …its in waterloo half the people speak english ..she went to your house last time with the tutu when we drove her back from the beach on memorial day ..tell her to recheck its not here…thanks for the papers can we plan for next friday 11 30???

Husband’s Ex-wife

From: Husband

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife; Husband’s New Wife

Sent: Mon, June 21, 2010 9:15:09 AM

Subject: Re: the kids

Her french isn’t good enough to just be left somewhere without someone from the family making sure she’s okay and understanding everything. Will someone be there with her? 

PS

She found her tutu. But no black sweatshirt.

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To: Husband; Husband’s New Wife

Sent: Monday, June 21, 2010 11:37 AM

Subject: the kids

they don’t have a web side…and of course we will make sure she is ok …and already said they speak english ..if this is making problems she wont go we have lots of other great things to do there..Husband’s Ex-Wife… and if she takes riding class i would of course be there .. i used to ride for 15 years and i would love to see her on a ponneyor small horse…Husband’s Ex-Wife

From: Husband

To:Husband’s Ex-Wife; Husband’s New Wife 

Sent: Mon, June 21, 2010 12:10:09 PM

Subject: Re: the kids

If you would have told me that in the beginning there wouldn’t even be a discussion about it. Since you said you’re going to be there than it’s okay. That was all I was asking for.

From: Husband’s New Wife

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife; Ex-Wife’s Husband

Sent: Saturday, August 14, 2010 10:05 AM

Subject: Fw: ATT Bill

Hi there, 

I have not had a chance to call ATT again (traveling east) but I should today sometime.  Attached was this month’s bill, honestly cell phone bills drive me a little mad just to begin with.  Hopefully, today we’ll have some answers. 

I was able to get them to take $60 off already. This would be an activation fee that we already paid on the first phone and considering how much hassle it was we should not have to pay on the second phone and the prorating on the first line as well. I have a feeling they might have messed up my bill too. 

Regardless, I will keep you posted.

Have a great weekend!

Husband’s New Wife

(no response)

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To: Husband’s New Wife ; Husband

Sent: Tue, August 24, 2010 1:06:41 PM

Subject: our daughter

hi

im not quite sure if you left off texas for work this week i never heard back form you since you asked me to keep her…she is having fun with her friend next door and getting plenty of pool and beach time…if you are not in texas and you want her back, her friend is leaving fridayalso could you tell big brother to call me thanks

Husband’s Ex-Wife

From: Husband’s New Wife

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife 

Cc: Husband

Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 1:20 PM

Subject: Re: our daughter

Hi Husband’s Ex-Wife, 

My husband is working so I thought I would respond as he’s probably not able to at the moment. He’s not in Texas (yet) but doing prep work up in LA for the event. Chances are he’ll have to leave for Texas this Saturday now and will be gone again all next week too. We should have a confirmation in the next couple of days. If this is the case she will need to stay longer. He should have more information soon. Hope this isn’t an issue because I am working full time till the baby comes and won’t be home for her. Glad she’s enjoying her time bet she’s all brown now if she’ been at the pool alot. I will ask big brother give you a call. I just talked to him. 

Thanks!

Husband’s New Wife

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To: Husband’s New Wife

Sent: Wed, August 25, 2010 3:34:01 PM

Subject: RE: our daughter

thank you for the quick respond…wasnt quite clear what was happening…no problem at all to keep her if her dad  is working. ill wait for his details…Husband’s Ex-Wife…ps big brother needs a sdge bill of last month for registration at school friday.. i will go with him if his dad is still out of town… enjoy that belly …its almost there…Husband’s Ex-Wife

From: Husband’s New Wife

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

Sent: Friday, August 27, 2010 5:21 PM

Subject: Re: our daughter

Hi Husband’s Ex-Wife…

Turns out he won’t have to leave for Texas tomorrow and will be home next week. She can come anytime let us know what works…Husband’s New Wife

From: Ex-Wife’s Husband

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2010 18:24:05 -0700

Subject: New Photos in My Gallery

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

belguim summer 2010 numero 2

You’ve been invited to view an album on MobileMe

From: Husband’s New Wife

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

Sent: Monday, August 30, 2010 1:31 PM

Subject: Re: New Photos in My Gallery

The pics are so fun thanks for sharing!!!

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To: Husband’s New Wife ; Husband

Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 3:21:59 PM

Subject: school hours

just wanted to make sure you got a call from the school that school hours are form 8am to 3pm on normal days and this week thursday and friday are half days until 12 30 no after school care…Husband’s Ex-Wife

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 15:29:58 -0700

From: Husband’s New Wife

Subject: Re: school hours

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

CC: Husband

Yep! We’re good it’s on the SMA calendar too. You can download the whole year into a google app that shows all the pizza lunches, mass days, dollar denim days. Really helpful. Thanks for the reminder. 

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To: Husband’s New Wife

Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 3:50:07 PM

Subject: RE: school hours

great…i still have to get a rosary for her that one thing missing in her list…she should be oak for the first day without it…i told her would get itfor next week but maybe its good you tell her again…thank you…of course… im holding on to the baby clothes and if you want to come and get the bath tub…bottle warmer, and other little stuff…call me anytime…its getting close… i wish its girl for my daughter to have a sister but i have feeling its a boy…take care Husband’s Ex-Wife

Date: Fri, 3 Sep 2010 11:57:29 -0700

From: Husband’s New Wife

Subject: Re: school hours

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

Hi there…she’s having a great week with her first unofficial days of school. She seem so excited to see some of her old friends and one of them (Anabella?) came back this year. I cannot believe school is underway already! She’s also excited that these days have no work and are just learning how to be organized. Bad news though is that she is sitting next to a boy who is a nightmare her dad tells me. He has been in every morning urging the teacher to switch her. 

About the baby tub….I’ve decided to with with a Tummy Tub (it’s european style bath for babies) or a Puj and both I can get through work so I am okay on the tub. With limited space we need something that can store easily. Also, I’ve totally forgot that I got a huge box of stuff from Avent from my girlfriend.  I don’t have a drying rack though and of course one this little bean comes out and is a boy (we’ll see) clothes are of course welcome so hold on to those for me please! 34 weeks in…been getting braxton hicks and the baby is positioned well with it’s little head down. Kicks all the time. Your daughter helps me count kicks at night after work she’s so sweet and curious.  

About that, I am wondering if Melody was nursing during your visit. She is so very curious right now about the breast. She’s been also singing a horrible song called “adorable” with lyrics about not touching boobies on the first date, which is way too advanced. She said she saw on YouTube at your house which I am sure you have no knowledge of so heads up on that! She also told me her nipples are ticklish. Is she coming to you with anything like this? 

Also, her Dad walked in on her in her room while she was playing dress up in party dresses and she got very embarrassed because she had stuffed tissues i the top (kinda of cute actually). He was so great with her ad making her feel comfortable as she is learning about and exploring her body.  The last thing we need to do is make her feel judged and self conscious.  

I was just wondering if you are seeing this too and if you are not you should have a heads up so that when it does happen you are prepared 🙂 I remember my baby sister and the four girls I nannied for being very curious at about this age and they were all around a pregnant nursing Mom too.  

Last, we were wondering if you had any time this weekend to sit down and talk? We can come by you. There are some things that have come up with big brother’s school that we want to get on the same page about just what happened last year doesn’t happen again and that he’s getting the support he needs from all of us to succeed. Junior year is the most important! Let me know what works….talk soon, Husband’s New Wife

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife

To: Husband’s New Wife

Sent: Sat, September 4, 2010 11:23:23 AM

Subject: RE: school hours

Hi Husband’s New Wife,

Sounds good. Can you guys make it at the Rec. Center today at 5PM?

let me know,

thanks,

From: Husband’s New Wife

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

Sent: Saturday, September 4, 2010 12:21 PM

Subject: Re: school hours

That sounds good see you then.  

Journal:

Sunday September 5, 2010

We all met at the recreation center in La Jolla as planned. Me 8 months pregnant, Biggie Smalls my puppy, Husband, Big Brother, little sister, Husband’s Ex-Wife, their son, Ex-Wife’s husband. Big brother had been asking us to live full time at our house and we told him he needed to ask his mom in person himself. He said he wanted us there for support. So we did. 

Husband’s Ex-Wife response was less than positive. She refused to agree to his request to live full time at his Dad’s house. She said she had RIGHTS  to her children. Big brother was threatened by his stepfather that said he better get straight A’s and that that he should not expect to get help with his french from his mother any longer. My husband stood up for him and said he was only required to do the best he could do.  

At one point I spoke up, I don’t remember exactly what I said but it was most like something along the lines of trying to comfort my Husband’s Ex-Wife as it is what I do best when I sense people are in stressful situations. I do however remember her response and I remember how it made me feel and I remember what it made me do. She told me that I had no idea about being a mother or motherhood as I sat there next to her with my big eight months pregnant belly. I remember how surprised I was to be shunned by her at this point after all the sweet email exchanges about her children we had been having and about my pregnancy. I remember my heart rate starting to rise. At this point in my life I was very good at seeing what was toxic and I immediately told my husband when we got home that I cannot handle that in my life and I would no longer communicate with her. I had zero tolerance for anything that caused me or my unborn baby any stress. Suddenly this woman showed me a completely different side of herself and I immediately did not trust her. For a long time going forward I was not outwardly involved. I had go way above and beyond to be completely transparent and do whatever it took to have open honest communication for the sake of the kids. To be spoken to with such disdain and disregard on a subject that I have crazy instincts and lots of experience in especially now with her own children had me turning on a dime in the other direction. 

I should have seen it then, the other side.   After this conversation all together at the park, she told her son that I was evil.