You Can’t wait to heal but often we have no choice

You can’t wait to heal, but we often have no choice. I learned that waiting until you have space to heal is required, I don’t think I was strong enough at this time to have blocked everything out to start healing. I am glad for a soft heart towards my previous self. I was trying too hard to navigate a path for our kids and ourselves. When you are under high stress, you cannot heal.

We spent our summer that year waiting for the next court date. It was so shocking that you could be convicted in criminal court and walk into family court lying about what you plead guilty to, but it happens all of the time.

7/17 -7/19
Talking to my friend Lance, an ex-attorney trying to get help. Again. He’s such a great friend, my best friend.

He emphasized that this is between “her” and the district attorney’s office. It’s not our thing, yes it impacts us but it’s ultimately the City of San Diego versus Aurelia, not us. Lance says don’t tell them how to do their job. Ask questions, not driven with an agenda. Anything that can be done is being done.

I’m not angry, we are past that, we are frightened. She is not in touch with reality, with a propensity to have further harassment and threats. Most likely will walk out of court with a light sentence, and go into family court and say nothing happened and now it threatens the safety of our daughter. This was exactly what happened.

She is saying she was attacked by us to stage domestic violence and steal her daughter. We have spent a ridiculous amount of money with ABC Family Law to fight for the protection of my stepdaughter. Once we heard that this was ending we thought can move on with our lives and we can start to heal. Looking back this was a complete and total waste of money, we lost her my step daughter and our relationship with her in the end. What the Bio-Mom wanted the entire time.

July 17, 2015, Friday
My husband is crying a lot. I cry all the time. We are waiting to get served a DVTRO on him. It’s insane what is happening. Imagine, she comes attacks us then pulls a restraining order on my husband. I called Detective Flores. He says it’s a tactic. That’s all court is, tactics.

July 19, 2015, Sunday
Ink is not even dry for her conviction and she is actioning in family court with pathological over-the-top stories about what happened to her when she attacked me. Nothing happened to her.

There are police reports, documented injuries in the police report, doctor notes, testimony, the scene where it happened plenty of room to escape and was not trapped as she claims. She was not threatened, she “felt threaten” when I said I am so mad I feel like I could hit her. But I was not facing her or ever addressed her directly so her feeling threatened is absurd. I am also 70 pounds smaller.

Anyone who did not do it would never plead guilty, they would be distraught like I was. Why plead guilty? Sufficient evidence against you. She pleads guilty in criminal court and accepted labor, 52 wks, 3 yr probation, a suspended sentence and checking in with an officer, gave up and said no to a therapist. Willfully and unlawfully, her credibility should be short in Family Court. They are going to be annoyed. We need to hire a court reporter, will there be a court reporter? So much about this process, we had no idea about it, we didn’t know what to ask or do.

Evidence of pathology is either delusion or she is a total liar or both. They are mutually exclusive, now you hear and see things that are not real and now it’s scary because you are one step away from listening to the voice that says to kill me.

My friend Lance tells me I would have to be a great actress to fake this. That he was not worried about anything but the attorney properly preparing for it. That was until he saw me 18 days after in Hawaii. He told me that he was expecting that except for the concussion that I would be okay, I looked okay but when he hugged me he said oh my god I have never hugged someone that was steel at the core. My body was still in spasm.

Invisible injury that people can’t relate to is what I had. You think you are okay but the brain is not working right with trouble pulling facts back, headaches, extremely tired. I was on my way to dying. Her rage would have kept going until I was sufficiently damaged. She said I destroyed her life but she very well could have continued to destroy me so that she could have her life back. I am in such an awkward place because I am not a complainer. It was a big deal it was traumatizing. I would have been twice as healed if I didn’t have to go through this court crap.

There has to be a consequence to her disavowing her guilty plea in criminal court by coming to family court saying she didn’t do anything. Most courts should not allow it. I am advised by legal counsel that she can try the issue of the attack because the plea bargain/plead of guilty to the assault by California we are going to have to bear the burden of her attempt to claim.

Wanted to read the police report. We tend to reread everything. Brokedown reading what happened again. Now it is really scary, extremely traumatizing. She shook me violently and slammed my head on the ground till I was no longer moving.

Their declarations are in and they are ridiculous. They are talking about SUGAR, stabbing at capillaries. The kids had rotten teeth before I came on the scene. She should not be believed.

Sara Neuman is a cutthroat attorney and world-class at overwhelming us with having to defend ourselves against stuff that is not irrelevant to what is in question. She is just kicking sand and wasting our time because that is all she has.