Minor Counsel Major Headache

This letter was written to the minor counsel; little did we know that nothing we said would have made any difference because the default is the child needs to be with the mother even if the mother is an unsuitable drug addict convicted violent criminal.  

Now I don’t know if the woman that strangled me is a drug addict, for I know she might be, but I do know for a fact she is a convicted criminal. Maybe she was on drugs when it happened; I don’t know if they drug tested her upon arrest. 

Either way, this criminal conviction held no weight with the minor counsel; this “attorney” was a whole layer of unnecessary drama in the process. Our minor counsel was nothing short of a homewrecker, and we lost control because she supported a child doing whatever they wanted. She ignored court orders and promoted a child to walk away from the side of the family that family court gave majority custody to. 

6/23/15

Heather-

Per Monika’s suggestion, below is our concerns about using ABC Visitation Services going forward.

This is not the first time Monika has reached out with questionable integrity; she recently voluntarily contacted our attorneys and our daughter’s Trauma Specialist/Psychologist asking for the opportunity to advocate for the NCP (noncustodial parent), reporting in on their great strides together, which is nowhere near reality according to our daughter. We feel that ABC Kids violates their guidelines, and as a result, we are very uncomfortable continuing. 

For example:

Orientation Rule 1. My primary responsibility is to provide a neutral, safe, and stress-free environment for children to be able to continue with, reunite in, or initiate a family relationship with the NCP. 

• Our daughter has reported that Monika is getting very friendly with the NCP during visitations and having constant social chatter about shopping, cat shelters, how smart their children are, fashion, interior design, Portugal, and thus, this is not a neutral environment for our daughter.

• Our daughter feels she has joined Monika and Aurelia on shopping excursions regularly now and has assisted Monica in purchasing new shoes 

• Monika’s judgment of a stress-free environment is further questioned by her decision to come to the visitation very ill and subject our daughter to watching her vomit twice during one of the visitations 

• Monika’s training on dealing with traumatized children should be in question as our daughter has told us that she has exhibited clear signs of distress, and the visits were not cut short or canceled 

• Monika allowed our daughter to be talked into and coerced into going to her mother’s house for a visit when she had said no three times

• Because Aurelia does not have any new activities planned for our daughter Monika recently offered to come up with some ideas and tried talking our daughter into kayaking alone when she was not interested

• I have seen Monika standing speaking privately for long periods with the NCP in front of the McDonalds where we do the drop off; there are constant unnecessary run-ins with the NCP due to poor instructions given to the other side

• Frequently, in front of Monika, our daughter has told us that her mother has been talking about past and future events, which is against their policy. We are told the Monika never says anything but Alan always does.

• It took 45 minutes for our daughter to be separated from her mother, the NCP, on one occasion, and on this day, she came home had diarrhea and slept for three hours 

• Our daughter has told us that she feels the visitation is a play date for her Mom and Monika

• During one of the visits, our son’s girlfriend was a guest, and she had to advocate for our daughter to get her mother to listen to her about reducing the number of visitations as our son’s girlfriend explained to us 

Orientation Rule 2. Children’s need for a sense of dependability and predictability is greatly increased during family transitions. Therefore, all of my policies are designed to support and encourage consistency and routine for children.

• Monika is consistently changing the times from the court order and often changes the time several times for days leading to any given visitation 

• Monika has allowed the NCP to run her own schedule and cancel when she feels like it, but our daughter was told to expect a certain schedule, so we have been unable to prepare her properly with the lack of consistency 

• The supervisor is constantly changing, and sometimes new ones show up that we have never met, nor were we able to give her some lead time to prepare for a change 

Orientation Rule 3. I regard the mental and emotional health of children as the most imprint aspect of my work. 

• It was shared with Monika some personal negative history about our daughter and the NCP’s husband from Portugal. During one of the recent visitations, the NCP and Monika were chatting about Portugal. Monika then decided to give our daughter the new Portuguese for the next visit. This was decided in front of her stepfather’s house that she was emotionally and mentally abused. There is a disconnection to a child’s mental and emotional well being

• Our daughter has been allowed to negotiate her own schedule with her Mom, and Monika has supported this rather than adhere to the court order 

Orientation Rule 4. Supervised parenting time includes complete observation of the entire contact period between the NCP and the child/ren.

• On the most recent visitation, the new supervisor lost our daughter and the NCP five times, and our daughter has told us that she was on her phone most of the time 

• When Monika is engaged in conversation with the NCP, this does not allow for complete observation of our daughter and her mother 

Orientation Rule 5. I shall not intervene or interact during supervised parenting time unless there is a health issue or safety issue for the child or the supervised parent is violating a policy.

• Monika, we are told, has so much constant interaction with the NCP that our daughter feels she and her mother are friends. This is resulting in unnecessary stress on our daughter and a non-neutral behavior on Monika

Orientation Rule 9. All activities during supervised parenting time must be of a see-all and hear-all nature as it relates to any physical and verbal contact between the supervised parent and child/ren. 

•, if supervisors are losing their way several times during a visitation and getting distracted by shopping, it can be questioned if all is being seen or heard, which puts our daughter at risk mentally and emotionally 

Orientation Rule 10. Supervised parents must keep all communications in the Here and Now, without reference to the past or future.

• Our daughter has told us that her mother is frequently talking about things in the past or future, and Monika never says anything but Alan always does 

Orientation Rule 11. Discussions about the past and future will not be allowed and are grounds for the visit being terminated. 

• Monika has never enforced these rules onto the NCP, which continues to support our request to change 

Orientation Rule 12. I may terminate a visit if the child/ren appears to be over-stressed or if a supervised parent will not comply with my request to stop inappropriate behavior. 

• From the inception of working with ABC Kids, Monika has overstepped the rules and guidelines and, instead, allows an awkward silence to change organically. She has inserted herself into my daughter’s relationship with her mother that badly needs repair. This has not only caused great distress that our daughter that she has shared with her therapist Dr. Lerach but Monika has further complicated her scared relationship space with her mother 

Orientation Rule 15. There is to be no contact between the CP and the NCP to and from the visitation site or within a two-mile radius of the site before, during, or after a scheduled family visitation. 

• Several times, there has been unwanted contact. Several times, I have requested confirmation that specific instructions are being given to both parties for the exchange, so to avoid unwanted contact, we are getting little to no support.

I hope this is helpful. Please see attached texts messages for reference. This s inclusive of all of our daughter’s experience with this visitation service. We want our daughter to spend time with her mother, but we want a service to support it better. 

Kind Regards, 

Father

#narc #domesticviolence #strangulation #familycourt #criminalcourt #civilcourt #court #family #stepmom #mom #dad #stepdad #coparent #protectkidsfirst

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