is this what over it looks like?

In two months from this round of emails, I was attacked.

Her daughter was telling us that her mother was threatening to show up with the Police at her school to reinforce the old schedule / “custody agreement” because what her Dad was doing was illegal. But she emails us and tells us she is in complete agreement with what we thought we had collectively agreed on. She goes on to say that her daughter’s version was “not exact” when in reality, it was the polar opposite of what she was saying. Had I not been going back and reading these all over again I would not see this.  

The entire time she was stewing in her mind an altercation with the police. She manifested the police into her life. My calling the police after what she did was an appropiate and correct response. Anyone would have called the police after being strangled.

From: Husband’s New Wife 

Date: Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 9:53 PM

Subject: Re: 4/24 – 5/10

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

Cc: Husband

78% of your message (the yellow) did not have to do with scheduling, school or medical. Your harassment and insults are not welcomed. You actually told me you were her mother, thanks for clearing that up. She has a test, not a lie. She had time set up with Andrea, not a lie. She needs extra help at school. Nobody is trying to keep her from you. All this is, is a time waster. Let’s stay focused on what needs are. 

1. I dont think you realize your attidude towards me ….not responding. 

2. Im her mom and will have her from after school…..not responding. 

3. you are in no place to decide when and how much she and i spend time together ….School needs to be Josephine’s first priority. We as her support system need to make it our priority too. Wednesday’s are not working out. Too much stress she told us tonight that during the week is too much. 

4. She doesnt not only have bad gradeswhen she comes on wednesday to spend time with me….not responding. 

5. .i am keeping trackof that just like you guys.also i always made sure she was back to your house early enough….not responding. 

6. I understand you want her to stay for the tutor at prime time but i know there are only there certain days ….not responding. 

7. By the way dont really understand the need for you guys to leave her there everyday when her Dad is not working …..not responding. 

8. Just saying that becouse she complained about it …..we talked to her about this tonight she tells a different version than yours. 

9. from 725 to 4 pm are long days …..not responding. 

10.if something is schedule today i will pick her up at 4 but we need to go back to wednesday after school pick up next week…..not clear what you are saying. 

11.I hope you understand that she and i need that time together and will make sure she does home work and bring her back in time to get ready for bed….not responding. 

12. she and her dad agreed of everywednesday ,everyother weekend and holidays . ….wrong, you set something up with her and did not include or consult with us. 

13.If wednesday is when the tutor is available we can maybe switch to another day in the futur ….great idea, switch wednesday’s to saturday so you can spend quality time with her and the new activity she tells us about. Considering you are not contributing to her living expenses we would expect you to take responsibility. If after 3 months she is still into it we can commit to sharing responsibility of getting her here there and back until then this is a good opportunity for you to spend time with her since Wednesdays are not working out. 

14.Wednesday are good couse of once a month its a half day and also is in the middle of the week….Wednesday’s are not good for her. 

In knowingness and bliss,

Husband’s New Wife and Husband 

From: Husband’s New Wife 

Date: Thu, Feb 19, 2015 at 10:47 AM

Subject: Re: 4/24 – 5/10

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife

Cc: Husband

Clearing up some confusion on the below…..

Wednesday don’t work talk to her about why if you can’t hear it from us. We told her you were open to another day. During the week for school is not good. 

No where in here did we say we thought you wanted us to pay for acting class. By “taking responsibility” we meant that you in addition to paying, you would take her for the first three months every time and if after three months she is committed to it we can talk about helping you when it’s our weekend. 

Confirm that you understand and are in support of doing what is best for her school by switching Wednesday and that you understand that you are taking her to acting class every week for the first three months. 

 On Feb 26, 2015, at 12:05 PM, Husband’s New Wife wrote:

Hi Heather-

Hope this finds you well, we are reaching out to see if we can work with you again. Look forward to hearing back.

Thanks,

Parents

From: Pyschologist #2

Date: Thu, Feb 26, 2015 at 12:37 PM

Subject: Re: Do you still practice? 

To: Amy Gorski <amycgorski@gmail.com>

Hi,

I actually no longer work in private practice. I referred all of my clients to Dr. Stella in UTC. Her number is 619xxxxxxx. Best of luck!

Psychologist #2

From: Husband’s New Wife 

Date: Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 6:37 AM

Subject: Clothing Expense

To:Husband’s Ex-Wife

Cc: Husband

Hi Husband’s Ex-Wife,

She just told me that if you buy her clothes that she is not allowed to bring them here. Clearly, you didn’t say this or she is misunderstanding what you meant. She is rapidly growing out of clothes so if she has a few things she likes and fits her over there send her back with something so we have a little more time before we have to take her shopping for school clothes. We can’t this weekend because she has a lot of schoolwork to do for a take home test in seminar. 

If you did in fact tell her this please confirm that you are unwilling to help.

In love and knowingness,

Husband’s New Wife 

From:Husband’s ex-Wife 

Date: Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 7:03 AM

Subject: Re: Clothing Expense

To: Husband’s New Wife 

I told her she can bring everything

She wants but needs to bring it back when she comes here.will clear that with her today

Also got some things from your house here

That was in her locker will make sure she brings it saturday when she returns

She should already have all her jeans and shoes we got her at your house the nike and converse?too

Husband’s Ex-Wife 

From: Husband’s New Wife 

Date: Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 2:47 PM

Subject: Re: Clothing Expense

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife 

Great, what is the name of the place you are taking her? If this works out I want to wha they have to offer for her little Sister. 

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife 

Date: Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 5:03 PM

Subject: Re: Clothing Expense

To: Husband’s New Wife

Its called rapa in sorrento valley

Supose to be a great place.

From: Husband’s New Wife

Date: Sat, Feb 28, 2015 at 11:58 AM

Subject: Re: Clothing Expense

To: Husband’s Ex-Wife 

Thanks, they have 4-5 yr. old ballet. 

This is in regards to her school & medical & scheduling below:

How did your IEP meeting go? One thing important that came up for us when asked how she splits her time with the families was communication. When we shared the change from week on / week off they thought it would be better for her if we had one point of contact considering the double work of having to talk to households. Are you good with us being that point of contact to chase down the extra work we can do to raise her grades when she slips and when we do that extra work make sure it she gets credit for it because sometimes it takes several follow ups with these busy teachers. They asked us to follow up on our agreement that we are that one point of contact for her school, like that there is no confusion and she gets the best support before she gets a bad grade. 

She has a 2.5 GPA at the end of the 1st Semester, which we should be super proud about because she worked really hard. But since the very end of the semester (1/16) into these first weeks she has really slipped and everyone notices. Blurting out in class, not retaining information resulting in poor grades, chewing her hands and feet at home again… teachers told us she is like a different kid. Good news is they are working with her. 

There has been a lot of change since the first of the year in our house and her living full time with us is only one of those changes. She has gone through multiple colds, ear infections, lice for four months, we finally are lice free for the past two weeks She and you have had at least two very emotionally charged confrontations including the one at your house calling her a stealer just “like us”. In addition to her worried that you will show up at her school with Police telling her that we are doing is illegal and her Papa will get in trouble for it. So although you are probably shutting down at this point, it is important for everyone to be on the same page regarding Josephine’s experience in life right now. On top of this she is going through this modeling pressure. She gets very excited and her self confidence seems to hinge on it, she is not sleeping well consistently, she is very short and aggressive her little sister (trying to control her, yelling at her when losing her patience, physical trying to restrain her) and her hamster just died. So its been a lot of stress for her. 

In our meeting the Vice Principal, social studies teacher and Special Education Specialist all encouraged us to start up again with her family therapy support because they see a big change and feel it would be advantageous for her. We agree and have phone calls into a couple to see if they would work. Would be great if Pyschologist #2 was still in private practice. I would expect initially she would go once a week. We will take her, it will be $30 per visit for our co-pay. How do you want to share the costs of this therapy for her?

Last, we are trying to make sure that she eats less / no sugar at our house except of course fruit. If every week when she is at your house she binges on sugar (she tells us she gets a big sugary decaf starbucks drink every time she sees you), it makes it extra hard to get back into a rhythm. Can you do what we do and not allow sugar unless it’s special of course but I am sure you get what I am saying. We could help her if we got on the same page with that. A little dessert is okay, the point is to control it because she sneaks it and wants it all the time because she gets too much of it now. 

So on top of keeping up with school now, then keeping up with school if she starts missing school for modeling, then taking half a Saturday and probably then some for her to keep up with acting class and counseling it is a really big schedule. You should know that she currently has a D in Social Studies, she has a take home test that she really messed up on that we got extra time from Mrs. Jones so she and I will be doing that today and tomorrow. It took us 45 minutes to do one question the night before it was due. Having a D in social studies would forfeit her work permit or make her ineligible correct? We do not have a copy can you send? 

Long email but a lot to cover. Hope she enjoyed acting class today!

From: Husband’s Ex-Wife 

Date: Sat, Feb 28, 2015 at 1:43 PM

Subject: Re: Clothing Expense

To: Husband’s New Wife 

I will speak to the school about contact info during school nights for homework but still need to be informed about anything happening with jo in her schooling hopefully that will help 

Hopefully being in one house during school daysmakes it easier for her.to follow up

She looks happy and thats all we want for her. Having her friday to saturday and 2 weekends a month and holidays is actually giving us quality time together.

Hopefully she will find in acting a way to express herself during all the changes in her body she is soon to be teenager . That explaines the attidude .in everygirl of her age also getting up so early and having long days makes her really tired and cranky

About therapist feel free to look for one and let me know this will help her for sure.

Not sure this will clear things but your version of what i said to her is not exact and was distorted she knows what i said .feel free to call me to have my version of things 

We will pay and drive jo to acting class 

She is just starting the class now until 230 than will drive her back to you guys 

We went to try to fix her phone today but it was closed

We will go next weekend 

Wish heather still practice i already told her dad she doesnt anymore she works for the school district now it would be good she sends a note of situation to new therapist 

Will try to find her and ask

Husband’s Ex-Wife 

#overit #coparent #cofamily #stepparaent #stepfamily #stepmom #domestciviolence #california #strangulation #family #healing #love

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