I finally got some words out that needed to come out for a longtime. I mailed a copy of this and fully expect that it was intercepted but I sent it anyway. I then burned the handwritten copy.
Dear Louis,
I’ve wanted to reach out so many times. Almost ten years have passed, and during that time, we’ve only seen you a handful of times—but Debbie more often. Every single encounter has been deeply upsetting and triggering for my PTSD.
I’ll never forget the time my daughter (now 14) and I walked past you and Marian on the path to the beach at Little Point. You turned to Marian and said, “That woman looks so unhappy,” not realizing it was me. I was unrecognizable to you, as was my daughter. “Unhappy” doesn’t begin to cover it. You truly have no idea how devastating Debbie’s actions were to our family.
Debbie actively chose to harm us. She attended every single family court date, brought her father, Charlie, to court, and worked tirelessly to discredit us to mutual friends. She even wrote letters to the court supporting Aurelia about an event she didn’t witness. Debbie told me to my face that I was delusional for saying I was strangled that day. She cornered Kelly Dorvillier outside a St. Patrick’s Day party, parroting Aurelia’s claim that it was “just a push” and accusing us of fabricating the assault to gain custody of my step daughter. She even tried to convince my stepsonto testify against his dad. Debbie was relentless—completely unprovoked and without good reason.
What could we possibly have done to deserve such hateful actions?
I tried repeatedly to find peace with Debbie and your family. Every attempt was rejected because, as she put it, she didn’t want “negativity” in her life. That excuse is insulting given the devastation she caused us. I remember when we first met your family—birthdays, holidays, and announcing our pregnancy at Little Point. I remember celebrating our wedding at your house. I have pictures of her as a toddler on your shoulders.
But none of that mattered to you when we needed support. You told us you had “no control” over Debbie’s actions. But did you care at all about what happened to us? Or do you truly not believe it happened? Based on how your brother Frank treated us in public, it’s clear where you stand.
Aurelia attacked me. She grabbed my neck, thrashed me back and forth, and slammed my head into our car before slamming it on the cement floor of the garage. My husband tried to pull her off me, but she was enraged. I was strangled for over two minutes. Do you understand what that means? It only takes 11 pounds of pressure to cut off airflow, and I endured life-threatening trauma.
He eventually pulled her off. I got away and called the police. Aurelia was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon because the attack was deemed life-threatening.
I sustained multiple brain injuries. My physical therapist described it as akin to a 100-mph car crash. For three months, I couldn’t lift my head off a pillow. I lost my job. I lost my health. I lost my sense of safety.
My injuries were catastrophic: 360-degree whiplash, chronic pain, suicide migraines lasting 88 days, and daily panic attacks. Our family was destroyed. The girls partially witnessed the assault. My stepson became suicidal. My step daughter was subjected to manipulation by Aurelia and Debbie, who spread lies about what happened. We spent nearly two years in court to repair the damage.
Aurelia was convicted of domestic violence. She caused irreparable harm to us. Debbie’s relentless interference prolonged the damage, making it even harder for us to heal. Debbie said to me once that she couldn’t bear to hear about what happened because it was “too negative.” She can’t even acknowledge the pain she caused.
I have medical records, brain scans, therapy bills, and photos documenting my injuries. This wasn’t just an attack—it was an act of violence that shattered our lives. We’ve spent countless hours in therapy trying to rebuild what was lost. But we’ll never be the same.
Debbie’s involvement was cruel, unnecessary, and entirely uncalled for. She chose to side with Aurelia, someone who nearly killed me, over the truth. And you chose to stand by and do nothing. Seeing you and your family in public is sickening because you either don’t believe what happened or you don’t care.
I don’t know if sending this letter will make any difference. Maybe you’ll dismiss it as negativity or lies, just like Debbie did. But I needed to get this out of my head. This has haunted me for a decade. I’m still angry, still sad, and still hurt.
I thought you were a stand-up human being a church-going man of the community, a family man, a friend. You say Debbie is her own person. But who are you? After all the years of friendship, we got nothing?
Zero concern, zero compassion, zero support. We were in complete and total trauma. My daughter almost lost her mom to murder. You don’t care. Why? Because you believe Aurelia’s lies? Without ever talking to us. How is that okay? How could anyone ever be okay with that? How could anyone who thought we had a friendship be okay with being completely cut off after we were violently attacked? After all the family moments and memories we shared. I just can’t accept this and I am sorry for that. It didn’t have to be this way.
I printed two copies, the one in your hands and one I burned. I am releasing my pain to it’s proper home, you, Debbie, Charlie, Frank, Peggy, Aurelia, and Jose. At the end of the day, this hurt her kids the most. If you were not helping, you were hurting. Imagine if this happened in your family to Alex, Marion or Sienna?!?! Imagine that we ignored it denied it and stopped talking to you?
Why did this happen, Louis?
In Peace,
Your long lost “friend”
Strangled In La Jolla 