This was a tough time for me because I ended up losing my job due to the violent attack that happened to me. I had just gotten the job in January, and in April I was out on medical leave. In the long run, it all turned out but it felt devastating at the time. Luckily I had some sense to negotiate a longer severance so I could focus on healing.
Reading through this I am so proud of myself, I was my own coach, my own advocate, and my own cheerleader. I did not let myself down!
12/1/15
Email from Sara Neumann about the “interrogation”.
I don’t even remember what this was about but I do remember how awful this attorney was and how uncomfortable it was to be interrogated by her on the stand in Family Court. Court is awful because if you are like me naive to it I thought it meant that justice prevails. It really doesn’t it is just a sliding scale of bullshit.
12/2/15
My husband ran into Frank Beacham at Whole Foods, he was given dirty looks. My stepson got back in touch after Thanksgiving asking my husband again to go to therapy, but he is not responding. This is so hard and polarizing.
We lost our friendship with the Beacham’s and no thanks to Debbie as whomever she got to in the community turned against us. I guess friendship is a stretch. She was never our friend and all information about us was fed to Aurelia which compromised my safety looking back.
12/9/15
Weird stuff at work happened.
I was sensing stuff!
12/11/15
Kyle is lying at work about Petco.
12/12/15
My daughter told me remember mama when Aurelia was on top of you in the garage? She also told me about the ballerina girl having dead parents that were shot by a bad guy that came to their house.
This was especially devastating for me because as much as we wanted to protect her it was near impossible to do so. How she knew that woman was on top of me in the garage I will never know but what a mother goes through her child goes through.
12/31/15
Wow, so much has happened. Two acupuncture appointments, two physical therapy, and two chiropractors. Not nearly enough meditation but I think I may have turned the corner. Now the only thing that remains is this feeling of being dazed all the time and my head hurting. We had court yesterday…
1/4/16
Of course, it can never be easy. I lost my job! OMG! I hate reading about what I am going through. Things go full circle because I am once again jobless from the job I got after this time. ARGH!!! But oddly, I know I will be okay because I have been through this. I am a powerful creator of my reality.
We are starting to come back together, trying at least. It will be awkward it will be weird but you have to make the effort to start coming back together as a family after Domestic Violence.
My birthday is 11/11, I am a number girl. So I started meditating and noticing things. I started noticing numbers maybeit’s nothing but but I need meaning and I make the narrative and using these as guides has always been a practice in my life.
I ended this journal with a question I find myself now asking again today. What do I want to do? I want to help people. I want to help people heal. That brings me joy.
1/3/16
My stepson came for dinner with his girlfriend. It was awkward but not for him.
1/4/16
My stepdaughter told us that her stepdad is drinking all the time, Her mom told her she was pregnant and lost the baby, her mom told her that she can’t be a vegetarian and she won’t grow if she does not eat meat and her brother vandalized her nutcracker. The weekend of Christmas she was up all night on Saturday and Sunday and New Year’s Day, she spent the night at her mom’s and was up all night. It’s always a party.
1/11/15
UGH, my whole body hurts, my head has been in a migraine for more than a day. I just learned that someone at work quit the day they found out how they are treating people. I lost my job.
1/12/16
5:55 seeing 5’s a lot.
1/15/16
444 seeing fours a lot trying to find the meaning of all this somewhere.
2/3/16
I just found out yesterday that I got my severance increased from 3 to 6 months. I need a notary. I have my first consulting client potentially signing up with Cal Stat Labs. What in the world is going on? I am suddenly completelysupported. Which makes me especially interested in making sure that this never happens again. The thought about being homeless, the lack of security. Ugh!
So I found this somewhere don’t remember the source somehow it helps me focus:
122 1122 indicates that your current thoughts or focus will guide you toward your life’s purpose.
The number 555 represents the flowing energy of constant change, much like the tides of the universe. It appears as a reminder of your purpose here on Earth: to heal, grow, and usher in new waves of energy. Seeing 555 signals alignment with this change, a gentle nudge from the universe reminding you to stay present.
There’s no need to fear these repeating numbers. Instead, they are a guide—a call to keep your thoughts positive and embrace the power of transformation. Change isn’t inherently good or bad; it simply is. Whether the change is global, local, or personal, it’s all connected.
When you see 555, know that it carries the energy of transformation. It’s a message from your angels, guiding you to recognize the shifts around you. This awareness strengthens your communication with them, allowing more guidance and support to flow into your life. Embrace this sign as a reminder that you’re never alone, and that change is part of your journey.
1/20/16
What do I want to do?
So my job was VP of Sales for a pet company, my dream job. My Biggie Smalls got to come to work with me. It was great. I got strangled four months in and three months after going back to work they fired me. It turned out to be an amazing thing for my healing journey. You cannot heal when you are stressed. I needed to get into a safe place with no stress. So I negotiated a longer severance and took time off to heal. I was so grateful for this.
It’s taken me the better part of ten years to claw my life back. I have yet to fully recover my income but I am very close! It’s so hard to find meaning in all this but reading through it I am reminded of my strong desire to heal and help others by sharing my healing journey.
My daughter is now 14 and seems relatively unaffected by this event but the same cannot be said for my stepdaughter who was 12 and in the house when it happened. She has a fearful nature now and my stepson withdraws a lot. We did a lot of therapy! We had to put so much effort into reuniting as a family. At first, it was very awkward but it got easier and easier.
Getting everyone the medical care they needed through this was only possible for us because of the California Victims of Violent Crime Board funding. With my job loss, we were low on resources but we still needed up. So grateful for their help! If you know victims help them find their state resources there might be some. It saved our family and helped us get back on our feet.
Strangled In La Jolla 