We finally started communicating. Funny how just a few months earlier she declared she had no obligation to speak to me or include me in the communication. Once we started revealing all that her daugher was telling us about how she intereacted with her in her home and how her new husband was interacting with her the behavior changed. Suddenly, she is taking interest in her school and telling us about it.
Looking back now I think why, not what I was think at the time which was maybe this is a sign we are getting on the right path. Given roughly a rough ahead is when she tried to kill me, yes kill me no exaggaration. I suffered multiple brain traumas and ended up with cervical and thoracic spinal instability for the better part of five years now due to strangulation. So why such a sudden change, I am truly perplexed.
But don’t get comfortable with, nothing can be kept up for long with our experience co-parenting with her and I am certain the wheels fell off this bus pretty quickly. Although I am not looking ahead.
On Jan 6, 2014, at 11:37 AM, Husband’s Ex-Wife wrote:
just wanted to let you know how she was doing here this week
very well and happy mostly all the time and
doing what she needs to do no problems at all
until this morning drama with her preparing for school
she answered back to me and he stepdad when we told her not to speak
in that tone of voice to us.she was doing her hair and got frustrated
i told her when she comes back no movies or game on her i pad for 2 weeks
On Jan 6, 2014, at 11:58 AM, Husband wrote:
We will remove all games on her IPad so one of the weeks will be done here. Like that when she returns next week she only has one more week.
To: “Husband; Husband’s Ex-wife; Husband’s New Wife
Sent: Friday, January 31, 2014 3:09 PM
I just wanted to fill you all in on a situation that happened today. At the end of the day a group of other students began teasing her about the way she writes (reverses numbers etc…) and some other related items. Ms. Courtney was able to find her and remove her from the situation, but she was very hurt. We have the names of the kids involved and referrals have been written. We are taking this very seriously and there will be consequences for what has happened. I just wanted to let you know. She didn’t want to talk about it and just needed some time to cool off this afternoon, but she might want to talk about it later. Please call me with any questions.
From: Husband’s Ex-Wife
To:Husband, Husband’s New Wife
Sent: Monday, February, 3 2014 3:16 PM
Subject: Our Daughter
News of things happening while you were gone
she completed all homework for the two weeks and got all good on sheets, and is still about class average on jiji math.
she also got a b on the math test.
she needs to practice for the talent show with thabata on maybe wednesday afternoon or weekend I went to moorlands open hose last week and took some papers for you there is another dates to go to coming up in feb will give to big brother to give to you.
Last friday some boys made fun of her about her writing . we talked about it this weekend and she said the boy said sorry and that it was ok.
Overall she was doing good the whole time with discipline i reward it her with the possibility to try dance classes at oh lala near your house and she if she likes it.
From: Husband’s New Wife
To: Husband’s Ex-Wife, Husband
Sent: Monday, February, 3 2014 5:16 PM
Subject: Re: Our Daughter
Thanks for the update it’s nice that we are trying to be more consistent with communicating.
We will be following up with the school on what the consequences are for the kids that teased her and will keep you in the loop as we want to make sure that this doesn’t follow her to Muirlands. She gave us the papers. We are very confused though because she tells us you are trying to send her to Hi-Tech.
As far as doing dance, it seems like she enjoys it which is nice. Despite her telling us she loved yoga she seems to not, that seems to be a consistent pattern with her as she is not very honest and always tells us what she thinks we want to hear.
The time commitment for dances feels a bit much for her as it averages out to 3-4 classes per week now and she is really not caught up at school. Although behavioral issues with fighting / yelling / distracting the other kids and throwing out her homework seems to be decreasing which is a great sign. The only thing that we wish might have happened differently is that you talked to us first about it. Then we could have helped research the fact that Viola is in the class with her and perhaps could have helped find shoes that you could afford for her.
At dance we feel bad that she is the only girl that has no shoes for jazz or ballet. She thought that she could fit mine but we are two sizes different now. She tells us that you can’t afford to buy her shoes and she has to pay half. Certain we are only hearing half the story and that of course you most likely plan on getting her the right equipment of dance to set her up for success.
There was long uncomfortable talk we had about all this with her last night that left her feeling badly.
Husband and Husband’s New Wife
From: Husband’s New Wife
To: Teacher; Husband; Husband’s Ex-Wife
Sent: Tuesday, February 4, 2014 8:10 AM
Thanks so much for sending us a note. We were in Costa Rica when we received this so sorry for the delay. It is really unfortunate that this happened and although she says she’s okay the big alligator tears that come up every time we speak of it tells a different story. What has happened since in terms of the parents being contacted and/or what consequences the kids will take responsibility for. Bullying of any sort I trust is not tolerated on any level, especially making fun of a disability at LJES.
Thanks again for keeping us in the loop.
From: Husband’s Ex-Wife
Date: February 4, 2014 at 1:41:33 PM PST
To: Husband’s New Wife, Husband
Subject: RE: our daughter
Hello Husband’s New Wife and Husband,
Thank you for your email. I wanted to answer your questions and make somethings more clear.
1. High Tech High: I entered the lottery for High Tech Middle in September, before you had voiced your concerns about commuting, just to have another options for her. But after going to the open house of Muilrlands, I feel comfortable that Muirlands will be a good school too.
2. Dance Class: she has been asking me for months to find a dance class for her. When I saw the Ohoh La La had a promotion to try out different classes for one month, I thought this would be a great way for her to find out what type of dance class she would like to do. Thinking once a week would be reasonable and of course consulting you guys once you were back in town. Nothing has been confirmed yet. Once she chooses the style of dance, we will buy the shoes. Right now the teacher told me socks are fine. We did split with her allowance money, the ballet sock, this was her idea since I paid for the month of dance classes.
3. Viola: As long as she is ok with Viola in her class, we should not worry about it.
4. Classes: I think she really enjoys yoga and special time with you, but I think she can do dance class too because she is good at it and loves it. It makes her happy.
Hopefully this helps clear some confusions, and we can find a compromise of Yoga and Dance for her as long as it is not effecting her school work.