Why I am Here?

Strangulation Awareness.

I was strangled, California Laws did not protect me.

I was strangled, received multiple brain traumas, lost my job, lost the job after that, and the job after that. My life was flipped upside down and in a lot of ways, never went right side up. My daughter almost lost her mother at age 4. I was nearly murdered in front of my husband, who could not get an enraged 6 foot 190-pound woman off me. My stepdaughter had to listen to me, screaming for my life as her own mother tried to kill me.

Strangulation is only considered a felony in California if it is under Domestic Violence Laws. I was strangled by my husband’s ex-wife over my stepdaughter at my home with my four-year child and very senior dog present. Both were tortured, hearing me scream for my life, unable to reach me. Stepparents are not a protected party under California Domestic Violence Laws. I want strangulation a felony Domestic Violence or not in every state.

The arresting police officer asked if my husband had slept with me while he was married to her. He asked because this could have been a way for me to be protected under Domestic Violence Laws. We did not know each other while he was married to her. I want stepparents protected under Domestic Violence Laws in every state — all parents matter.

She is 6FT 190lbs and I am 5’4″ 110lbs.

She was convicted and did a plea bargain to avoid a trial by jury. A week after she pleads guilty, she went into Family Court and requested a restraining order against my husband claiming she did not do what she just plead guilty to. In Family Court, it was ruled she committed Domestic Violence, and we were granted another restraining order, and she was denied. But never should anyone who is convicted of a violent crime be allowed to go into another court, ESPECIALLY Family Court and say they did not do anything. I want laws protecting families from this, so their precious resources being used to protect themselves and children are not wasted.

Judge Daniel Link convicted her. His father Judge Frederick Link let her off the hook financially and denied me my constitutional rights to criminal restitution but the state of California reimbursed us for what he denied. Over $25K in medical and lost work from being injured. He also denied me the right to bring in my attending doctors to testify to my injuries. The Senior City Prosecutor shared that it is widespread for victims to be denied criminal restitution. It is a passion project of his to be part of a change movement to protect victims and help them receive compensation when their lives are impacted by criminal Violence. I want Judges who are bullies like Fred Link investigated, and the public needs to know the rates at which victims are denied. Our judicial system with these kinds of unethical judges is corrupt, and it’s an old school male-dominated buddy-buddy system. Judge Link knew the defense attorney Michael Berg and knew he was pro bono. My case was closed with prejudice, and I was told I was a La Jolla Princess digging for gold.

My name was put on the Criminal Protective Order. When this woman who tried to murder me violated the orders at her daughter’s football cheer game, it was discovered that my name was placed on the protective orders by mistake. This is because stepparents are not protected under Domestic Violence Laws in California. I was told repeatedly from the prosecution that I was protected and safe with the CPO. When it came time to enforce it, I was told I did not fully understand how the protective order worked. I was attacked, strangled, received multiple brain traumas and severe injuries to my cervical and thoracic spine, and my husband was the only protected party on the criminal protective order. The person who attacked me stands 6′ 190lbs. I am 5’4,” 110 pounds. I did not stand a chance against a psychotic enraged delusional amazon woman.

I was horrified after I was strangled; it is a long journey back to wellness that I am still on. Not without a sad heart for the person inside that is permanently different after such a terrifying near death experience. What is more horrid is the fact that this happens to 1 in 4 women and 10% of the women that die in California die from strangulation.

4 minutes 11 pounds of pressure and you can kill someone. A can of coke opening is 25 pounds of pressure, and a handshake is 80 pounds of pressure. Strangulation has a long-lasting impact on your mental health and wellbeing. Strangulation puts you at higher risk of stroke. If you are strangled one time, the chances of homicide go up 700%. Anyone that puts their hands around your neck in anger is announcing that they are a killer. Knowing the signs of strangulation could save lives. It could easily happen to someone you love, and you would never know.

As horrifying as it was to go through this cooperating with prosecution made our lives worse, and now I am forever aligned with the millions of other women that are strangled in this country and worldwide. In 2011 Strangulation was written into the Domestic Violence Laws in California with the Diane Gonzalez Act making strangulation the most lethal form of Domestic Violence. My life was spared so that I can help make it a felony Domestic Violence or not. The Domestic part of Violence doesn’t matter Violence is Violence.

La Jolla is not immune to Violence, and certainly not immune to Domestic Violence. It can happen anywhere to anyone. It needs to be talked about families are being injured in our court systems when dealing with Domestic Violence, and women are being murdered every day. 1 in 4 women will experience Domestic Violence, and 68% will experience near-fatal strangulation. They can’t talk about it because their husbands are their perpetrators. I can talk about it.

Why is it not addressed as “attempted murder” all 50 states?



#lajolla #strangulation #strangledinlajolla #domesticviolence #violence #tbi #ptsd #family #love #bully #stepparent #stepmom #stepdad #mom #dad #daughter #sister #heartbreak #injured #healing #truth #toxicpeople #heal #coparent #blendedfamily #truthseeker #speakup #standup #changelaws #blogpost #newblogpost #beauthentic


    1. Strangled in La Jolla

      Thank you, not hopeless. Determined to bring awareness to a very pervasive issue and changes laws to protect others. While I personally took injury I don’t believe for a second that is was for not. I accept the role while not chosen in some ways I have been.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Evolution of Self

        Your conviction will bring you outta the belly of Hell. I commend you taking a stand and being the pillar for others that are feeling lost and in dismay.

        Luas Dia i do thuras




  1. Mark and Jenny

    Thank you for your courage. I’m very sorry this happened to you and your family. We support you in the La Jolla community. Shocking that this happened. I hope your site helps others find courage to speak up. We wish you a good life.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s