What was Said

I watched him walk up to her and say he couldn’t believe she hurt their daughter like this. She knew we were going to the therapist; she knew this was a possible outcome; how could she not? She knew she gave her daughter a cat. She says flippantly back as she waves her hand at him again…. don’t…don’t…you know what?

Yes, we know what. We know we have been up crying for the past 24 hours over a cat. We know we are exhausted with this I don’t give a shit clearly attitude; otherwise, I would be acting differently experience as we are trying to solve emotional and learning issues for our 12-year-old daughter. Six years we have been advocating and being the voice of a child. For six years she viewed this as harassment attacking her parenting. I was not clear my life was being put in danger.

He looks at her with dismay and says you took her cat away from her. She says again; it’s not her cat, it’s a family cat. I don’t want to argue. Just like that, we are shocked. I think to myself I have a voicemail from my stepdaughter crying about not wanting to leave her new cat, so their bond was not broken. I remember the day she came bubbling over saying Momma is getting me a kitten!! Jet won’t sleep with me anymore, so Momma is getting me my own kitten!!! I thought to myself, but we just got all your failing grades cleaned up. Sigh.

Hold on! My husband says. We have so much you are so wrong. He is looking completely overwhelmed by her responses. She says I know; I’m very upset she is upset. Almost robotically with no emotion whatsoever. But you know, it’s not just me she pleads to him.

My husband is desperate to get her to understand and says do you know how hard it was for her last night? She was up all night. Her response is yes I heard that. He says she is still crying right now. She says I know; I am upset about that too flatly. My husband still shocked that she would not just let the cat stay for a night says you are a mother and you took her cat away?! She explodes saying SHE LIED! She said it was her cat; it’s not right!

He can’t accept this and says wait we have texts from you saying you were getting her a cat. She says no I didn’t… I never said that! He asks her are you cuckoo? Again flippantly swatting her hand at him says NO NO NO. We are utterly confused. But, but we have texts from you. Her response to avoid talking about it is let’s talk about this with the therapist now. But we have emails from you. She says you do not see the whole thing. Oh, we do see the entire thing. She says ask our son…it’s not, I swear it’s not her cat.

My husband is getting frustrated. Are you kidding me? There are text messages; there are photographs; there are emails there are even posts on Instagram of it right now. Avoiding the truth, she says okay Jon, no Jon, I don’t want to argue with you. But you said, I am getting her a cat. The conversation gets turned into unconnected fragments as she derails and says I’m upset that she’s upset. It’s not just hers, she insists. Wait, can I show you a text where you said I’m getting her a cat?

She starts getting frustrating and points her finger right at him and says listen to me getting angry. Her tone is fluctuating she’s losing her cool. She’s moving closer to me. Again he asks would you like me to show you? Are you that cuckoo? She says please, I know I am so upset that she is upset too. She doesn’t look upset, or sound upset and why does it matter if she’s upset what matters is her daughter. But that’s me.

I am getting annoyed witnessing this total disregard for a child’s feelings. A child that I have a been a cheerleader for and am feeling very protective over suddenly against her own mother. Fundamentally if we cannot agree on the reality of the situation, we cannot address how my stepdaughter feels. He goes on to ask again do you know what you did to her? She won’t let it go and says it’s not her cat though!!!

My poor husband is dismayed and goes on to tell her more thinking more narrative will work, sometimes overexplaining helps provide more context. He says we were driving back. We were driving back, and she said, she told us, she said I need… She interrupts him and says she is upset about everything.

He tells her she said I want to live with you guys. So we said fine, you can live with us. Of course, she goes on to say can I have my cat at your house and we said sure, it’s your cat, and from what we know, all we know is…She interrupts him again and says I know that it’s not your fault that she said you took the cat. But it’s not true. Uh? She is not even making sense anymore. I want to disappear. I am still just inside the garage and have not said a word.

He is frustrated and says listen. Listen. Let me finish. All you’ve told us and all she’s said is all we know. We didn’t go behind anybody’s
back. She says I know that you didn’t know that it wasn’t her cat. Stop he says let me finish, let me finish. We were like, okay, of course, it’s your cat, your mom told us it was your cat. Her response is you should have told me she was saying it’s her cat. I was so worried!

This honestly makes no sense. Why would we call her to tell her that my stepdaughter is saying it’s her new cat after the Mother has told us she is getting her a cat but now is saying it’s not her cat and she never said that. There is a picture of the cat with a bow on my stepdaughter’s bed at her mother’s house.

We came home, and we were writing the email to her to explain what the therapist recommended when his son called us, and when he called us, we told him that we were sending his mom an email letting her know that we had picked up the cat. She says I don’t blame you guys for what she says. What’s important is that she is suffering.

You don’t blame us? No wait, you did already. My stepson called my husband and yelled at him on the phone. She says you know; you know what? Do you know what she did? She called her brother, and she was acting very weird asking if we were there. So, she knew it was wrong. Because she knew we were not there. No, my husband says, she called because she said you probably would not let her take the cat. Because of course, she says, it’s a family cat.

It was painful listening to this conversation because this is the third animal that the mother has used to manipulate the circumstances and get her daughter around more. So my husband says because she said you gave her Jet. Which she denies it and tells my husband, I never…about deny for the one-thousandth time that she did not get the cate for her.

My husband says hold on; you gave her Jet the first cat. Then because she was being asked a serious question she responds with, you are not letting me talk! Remember the first cat? And then all of a sudden that became, it’s not her cat anymore? And all of a sudden you are like, I’ll get you another cat? Why do we have two cats then? We had a dog like you…it’s the whole family. It’s not just hers…we would never do that! My husband then points out the key point which is that not what our daughter thinks!

I can’t take it anymore, and I say you put her dog down behind her back?
She denies this saying they didn’t kill her dog. He was 14 years old. I start telling the story about what that guy told her, what that guy told my stepdaughter, and I could not get it out. I did not want to talk to her, so I tell my husband to tell her, you tell her I say, and I then said I’m not involved. I’m not talking; you tell her what just happened to her daughter. You tell her that guy, that guy told her that she killed her dog! I was in tears. My heart broke for my step daughter.

This back and forth, her not listening it was so frustrating I had my head in my hands, and I was looking away, and I cried softly to myself I’m going to hit you! She says then hit me. So I for some reason repeat it, I am going to hit you! I was so frustrated. Then hit me, HIT ME she says moving towards me. My husband puts up his arm and says back up just back up.

As soon as he lowers his arm she lounges at my neck shouting “YOU DESTROYED MY DAUGHTER!!!!!” All I could do was scream. She shouts again shaking me violently “YOU DESTROYED MY DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!:” and just like I am thrashed like a rag doll, and she slams hips then my head to the hood of our car. Then pleads to my husband who is struggling to get her off me saying she did Jon!

My husband shocked and trying to get a hold of her says what, what are you doing?! No! I take both of them onto my chest, and we slide down the front of the car. I have resumed my screaming until once again my head is smashed to the cement floor of our garage.

My husband finally gets her off me and says go call the police! I am so shocked that all I can do is repeat… YOU JUST ATTACKED ME! YOU JUST ATTACKED ME! He response to me was you told me to fuck off! All I can do is scream in disbelief YOU JUST ATTACKED ME! YOU JUST ATTACKED ME! My husband also in total disbelief about what happened too says YOU JUST ATTACKED HER!

She looks she will start chasing me into the backyard, and I start to scream for my husband. Jonathan! Jonathan! Jonathan! Oh my God! Oh my God! He is yelling call the police!

As I am running away, she bellows…

GET BACK HERE!!!!!!!!